


Almost Lover

by hmsonny



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: M/M, XiuHan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-08 17:23:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11651232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hmsonny/pseuds/hmsonny
Summary: Luhan and Minseok spend their last free day together before tour starts up again. Back at their hotel room, Minseok has no idea what's to come..





	Almost Lover

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by the song 'Almost Lover' by A Fine Frenzy. If you wanna give it a quick listen before you read then feel free, but if not that's cool! It's a fanfiction either way and I hope you like it! Feel free to leave a comment, constructive criticism is always welcome! :)

Two figures stumbled through the streets of Seoul, weaving between groups of people as they shared mischievous fits of laughter between them. The man who led was slightly taller than his companion, dressed simply in light blue distressed jeans with a grey oversized jumper and trainers. Not far behind him, gripping tightly to his partner’s hand as he was dragged down the cobbled roads, was a smaller individual, full in his cheeks and wearing round, thin framed glasses that sat atop his button nose. He too was dressed plainly, the colour black owning his entire wardrobe – black jeans, boots and jacket. The only difference being a plain white shirt and a grey beanie that sat upon his tawny hair. As the two hurried down roads, whipped around corners and dodged unhappy strangers, smiles of pure joy shone from both faces, reflecting the bright evening sunshine that was raining down on the city.

“Minseok, quick!” The taller man shouted, looking back and laughing once more as his harmless accomplice tried harder and harder to make his short legs speed up.

“I’m going to kill you if this isn’t worth it, Luhan!” Minseok replied, leaping on to Luhan’s back and straddling his waist, arms wrapping tightly around his neck.

Minseok was never surprised by Luhan’s strength. Knowing him for this long and being around the man so often meant he’d become conditioned to every tiny detail about his close companion. He knew every like and dislike, his favourite places to eat, favourite stores, his habits; the list could go on for days. The one thing Minseok was most sure about, however, was how much he adored Luhan. As he wrapped himself around Luhan’s body, bouncing as he leapt over fences, sprinted down hills and through parks, Minseok felt at peace. The wind brushing his cheeks and making the curls of hair that spilled from his beanie wave past his face, the sound of his best human pointing out every dog he saw, the birds singing-

“We’re here!” Luhan yelped, leaping over a chain fence and carrying Minseok down some steps on to a sandy beach. As Minseok dropped down off Luhan’s back, he peered around and took in his surroundings, a smile twinkling on his pink lips. The sea water gently moved up and down the beach, the sound soft and calming as the sky had begun to fade to a darker shade of blue, clouds rolling away to other parts of the world. “7pm on the dot. An hour until the show.” Luhan looked at Minseok. Minseok couldn’t help but notice the way he smiled so enthusiastically that his eyes were closed, the sides of them wrinkled, yet how that made him so much more incredible a human.

“You ran - part of the way with me on your back - for an hour straight?” Minseok questioned, trying desperately to cover up the sudden punch of admiration he was feeling. Luhan rolled his shoulders, clicked his neck both sides.

“It’s no big deal. I can cope, MinMin.” He winked, causing Minseok’s heart to flip over ten times, his stomach lurching with butterflies. MinMin. His nickname. “This is the beach where we filmed that segment of EXO showtime, remember?” Luhan asked, shoving his right hand in to his pocket and allowing his left hand to land gently on Minseok’s shoulder.

“I thought it looked familiar.” A wave of realisation fell over him as he replied, nodding. “You had to go in the water with Junmyeon and Jongin!” The memory came flooding now, and Minseok was soon in fits of laughter, gripping his stomach and doubling over.

“I’m happy you find it so funny!” Luhan exclaimed, unable to stop a grin appearing on his face seeing his MinMin so happy in that moment. When Minseok stood once more, Luhan replaced his hand on his shoulder, and glanced out over the ocean. “Remember the time that rainbow appeared over the water?” He asked, pointing in the exact direction it had happened. At that moment the atmosphere slowed; the clouds were simply floating, the sea stilled. The corner of Minseok’s lips rose for a second, before falling again.

“Yeah,” He almost whispered, “I remember. It was beautiful. Hey, remember when we revisited this beach before we left and made promises to the sunset?” As Minseok said these words, Luhan’s face dropped. Minseok couldn’t see though, because he was still admiring the ocean and the slowly darkening sky. A slight puff left Luhan’s nose as he forced an emotion he wasn’t feeling.

“I remember.” Came his reply, with a toothy smile. “Yours was to talk more.” Minseok looked back at Luhan with a smile.

“And?” His eyebrows raised.

“Now you talk _too_ much.” He winked, a playful punch to the chest coming from his favourite person. “To me at least.”

Luhan moved his arm so that it was around Minseok’s shoulders, pulling him close as the breeze begun to pick up and become bitter against their skin. “My promise was to love more.” Luhan said, continuing to count the waves as Minseok looked up at him. “I hope I achieved that.” He bit his lip hard, focussing hard on the sky, watching silent seagulls dip in and out of the water. Minseok blinked slowly, the corner of his mouth raising once more as he wrapped both of his arms around Luhan’s torso and squeezed tightly.

“You sure did, Lu. You sure did.”

Luhan didn’t look down, instead Minseok turned his glance to what Luhan was looking at. The hour had gone by so quickly being in his company. The scenery before them had switched, and Minseok’s breath was instantly taken away by what he saw. It was similar to that day while filming EXO showtime, however it being just him and Luhan somehow made it ten times more stunning. His lips parted and his jaw dropped as he slowly let go of Luhan and moved toward the ocean, staring up at the blazing sky that was a breathtaking array of reds, oranges and golds. Luhan stayed back, watching Minseok’s fascination take over. He looked back once, nothing but pure amazement falling over his handsome face.

Another hour later, and the show was over. Luhan and Minseok were sat close to one another, huddled by the edge of the tide to stay warm, drawing pictures in the damp sand with their hands. Luhan sniggered when he saw what artwork his partner had carved in to the brown mush, his head snapping up and their eyes meeting. “What?” He asked Luhan, seeming quite proud of what he’d produced.

“Our names in a heart, huh?” Luhan teased. Minseok rolled his eyes but nodded to confirm yes, he had just put both their names in an arrow heart.

“Baekhyun’s wish was for EXO to improve in 2014.” Minseok starting to speak, Luhan suddenly becoming dizzy from his words. “It’s October now, and I really feel like we’re getting somewhere.” He pulled away from Luhan, moving his body side ways and crossing his legs. Luhan stayed still. “The fans are really getting behind us and this tour is going so well, we’ve sold out all of our dates and I really think we can take EXO further out there in the world. We are o-“

“Minseok we have to get back.” Luhan interrupted. He couldn’t bear to hear those words again. A deep frown appeared on Minseok’s face. “I’m sorry, it’s just so cold now and I don’t want to get sick. Here, hop on.” He said, standing, brushing the sand off the back of his jeans and turning for Minseok to mount his back once more. The journey back was similar to the journey there, except the streets were empty and it was colder now it had reached night time. Minseok reached back and took off his hat, pulling it down over Luhan’s deep red hair, and patting the top of his head a few times once he had done so.

“Stay warm. I don’t want you getting sick either, gotta finish this tour alive.” He giggled, tightening his grip around Luhan’s neck and resting his head on his shoulder. Luhan said nothing.

At the steps of the hotel, Minseok dropped off Luhan’s back but was swept off his feet once more as his partner picked him up and cradled him in his arms, planting a quick kiss on the tip of his nose. Minseok was shocked, his heart fluttering and beating faster than it had ever done before. Luhan’s feet echoed down the hotel hallway as he scurried along the awfully patterned carpet, Minseok still laying in his arms with his own around Luhan’s neck. “I feel like a child again!” Minseok exclaimed quietly, noting that it must be past 10pm at this point, and other residents in the hotel – including fans that had followed them here – would be sleeping. At their door, the taller member hoisted his small companion over his shoulder, fumbling in his front pocket for the key card and slamming it down inside the lock. As soon as the tiny light went green, the card was back in Luhan’s pocket and his partner was right back in his arms. For a second time stopped; Minseok was looking up at Luhan, chewing on his bottom lip nervously as Luhan’s brown eyes sparkled down upon him. Luhan burst through the hotel room door, closing it gently behind them with his elbow and placing Minseok down on the desk next to the fish tank.

“Who even does that, anyway?” Minseok sighed a few minutes later, sprinkling some flakes through the open hole on the lid of the tank. Luhan looked up, confused. “A fish tank in a hotel room? If I wanted to have to look after an aquatic creature while dealing with the stress of living in a hotel, I’d have asked.” Minseok sighed, sliding off the desk and dropping to his knees so he was eye-level with the baby orange fish. “What’s your name anyway, buddy?”

“You’re cute.” Luhan replied, taking Minseok by surprise once more. He felt his crush’s hand land on his shoulder, so he stood. When he turned, their eyes locked, no key in sight. Before either of them knew it, their lips had met and the world was spinning around them. Luhan’s hands slid forward, one sticking to Minseok’s lower back, the other gripping the back of his neck; while both Minseok’s hands clasped either side of Luhan’s face as the kiss became intense and passionate. When they pulled away, both men were breathing heavily, both insanely satisfied by what had just happened. “We’ve really been putting that off for a while huh?” Luhan laughed nervously.

“You’re cute.” Minseok winked.

“Anyway, Mr. MinMin. Time for you to sleep.” Luhan announced, scooping his lover in to his arms for the final time, and dropping him on the bed, launching pyjamas directly at his face.

  
The playfulness subsided once both men had changed in to bed clothes and had somehow managed to fit in the same single bed. Snuggled well in to one another’s arms, Luhan held up the polaroid photo they had both taken at the beach earlier that day. Minseok had thrown up a peace sign as usual, his lips pouted and pressed against Luhan’s cheek. “I love it.” Minseok whispered, pinching it away from Luhan’s grip and pulling it closer to his face to admire. “My hair is quite a mess though, falling out of my hat everywhere.”

“Stop, you look great.” Luhan replied, ruffling Minseok’s brown curls, causing his partner to grin. “But hey, time to sleep now! I can tell you’re super tired.”

“How?”

“MinMin.. you do this terrible thing when you’re tired where your bottom lip sticks out,” He imitated the sleepy Minseok pout, over exaggerating to inject one last shot of happiness and a bit of hysteric laughter. “That’s how.” He winked, sliding out of the bed and perching on the bedside table. Minseok offered him back the polaroid but he shook his head, his burgundy hair rustling. “You keep that.” Minseok tucked it beneath his pillow. Luhan took his lover’s hand and slowly ran his thumb over the back of it, humming a mellifluous lullaby while using his other hand to twirl and stroke Minseok’s curly hair. He loved it when he let his hair go curly. Minseok’s vision blurred in and out, his eyelids falling as he continued to force them open to watch his angelic companion sing to him. “Sleep.” Luhan whispered between tunes, a finger trailing Minseok’s cheek. Within moments his eyes had closed, his face relaxed, and he felt Luhan’s lips press against his own before falling in to a deep sleep. He had never noticed the swirls of sadness that had formed in his lover’s eyes and begun spilling down his cheeks.

*  
Minseok woke suddenly. Rain was slamming against the hotel room windows, one of them had opened and the curtains were flailing in every direction, the wind howling dreadfully through the room. Confused, Minseok rubbed furiously at his eyes to force them to focus, feeling wildly around him for his glasses. Throwing them on to his face, he squinted at the clock beside his bed. 4:00am. He swung his legs out of the duvet and shivered at the chill that had entered the room, yet took himself over to the window to close it and swiped the curtains across to cover the windows before any fans caught on to which room he and Luhan had been staying. Luhan.

“Lu?” Minseok whispered in to the pitch blackness. “Luhan where are you?” He felt the bed next to his. It was smooth and freshly made, as if no one had even been sleeping in it. Minseok led with his hands, followed around the edge of Luhan’s bed and to his bedside table, where he fumbled for a light switch. Only, his hands came across something small, yet thick. It felt like leather. His confusion grew, but when he found the light switch he almost wished he hadn’t. Luhan’s passport lay there in his hand, and when he flipped it open, a plane ticket fell out on to the table. "China?" Minseok’s breath instantly became heavier and heavier, his heart begun to pound as he dropped the passport and ticket, both hands gripping his hair as his head begun to spin and ache. A clap of thunder followed by an angry flash of lightning sent Minseok flying back to his own bed, leaping under the covers and shaking. That was when he noticed a beam of light coming from a crack in the door, which had been propped open with one of his own shoes. Sighing, he bravely left his bed once more, moving hesitantly toward the half-open door. As he reached for the handle, the door slowly creaked open and Luhan appeared, walking directly in to Minseok.

“Luhan, what’s going on?” Minseok whispered, a look of utter shock falling upon Luhan’s face.

“Minseok I-“ He begun talking, but tripped over his words and stuttered, unable to get any words out. “I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want to hurt you.” He bit down hard on his lip, Minseok even noticed a bead of blood appear when his teeth released it.

“Tell me what?” Minseok replied, pulling Luhan in and closing the door to avoid anyone overhearing whatever way this conversation was going to go. Luhan stared at his shoes, no reply. “Luhan!” Minseok’s voice had raised, shocking both himself and his partner.

"I'm leaving."

“Leaving? But tour starts again tomorrow?”

“No.. Min I’m leaving. Kris and I, we’re-”

“What?” Minseok’s breathing was heavy once more, audibly this time. Luhan stepped forward, but Minseok moved away. “But why?”

“Look, Min, I’m not happy here. Neither myself or Kris are. Tao, even. But he doesn't know we're goi-”

“I thought I made you happy? Do I not even matter?” Minseok was becoming hysteric.

“You do make me happy, but only in those particular moments where we’re alone. I can’t be doing a job that I’m not happy or safe in 24/7, management are putting myself and our other Chinese members in unsafe situations and I can’t stand for it anymore. We’re leaving, and no one is stopping us.”

“So much for staying together this year then, huh? So much for growing as a group in 2014? So much for _we are one_!” Minseok cried the last three words louder than the rest of the words he’d spoken, as Luhan pushed past him to get his passport and ticket. Tears poured down Minseok’s cheeks as he watched his partner scoop them off of the table and walk back to the door. He stopped in the doorway, and Minseok watched as his shoulders rose and fell with his deep breaths. He silently begged, urged, pleaded with the abyss of his own mind to make Luhan turn around and change his mind, to come back and embrace him and tell him he was sorry, tell him he was staying forever – tell them they were one. Another part of him realised he was right. He did need to go someplace where he’d be happy, where he’d be safe. But why did he never tell him he was hurting so badly? Luhan continued walking, the door clicking shut. The storm outside couldn’t stop the hammering of Luhan’s foot steps down the hallway echoing through Minseok’s ears as they got quieter and quieter. He fell to the floor, back leant against the door, his hand clapped over his mouth to stop his sobs from being heard in the rooms surrounding his.

Then he noticed something on the desk next to the fish tank, where he’d been sat earlier on when he and Luhan had returned from their free-day adventures. He pulled the item of clothing that was sat there, and it unfolded as it left the desk. A black jacket. But not just any old black jacket. Spinning it around, Minseok noted the lettering on the back ‘LUHAN 88.’ He shook it lightly to even it out, and a white envelope dropped to the floor. The front of it read ‘민민’ – MinMin. Tearing it open, he pulled out the letter that was inside. The handwriting was unsteady, as if the scribe’s hand had been shaking while writing it.

‘My dearest Minseok.  
Let me start this letter by saying I’m sorry. From the deepest depth of my heart, I’m sorry. The past few month have been the hardest, and my health hasn’t been how it should be. In all honesty, the truth is _I’m_ not how I should be. You know I love you, I feel as if I’ve loved you forever. I always will love you. I love the EXO boys – every one of them. But with SM I’m not healthy, nor am I safe, they don’t seem to care about me, nor the other Chinese members. I want to feel safe and I want to be healthy but I can’t do that if I stay under their management, and that too means I can’t feel it if I stay with EXO. Minseok, you were a blessing to my life that no one could replace and you were the only thing that kept me going when things got really tough, but now I must move on. And you should too. Please don’t forget me. I won’t forget you, or the beautiful memories we made.  
Yours always,  
Luge. x’

Minseok leapt across his bed and grabbed his phone, tapping in the passcode furiously before scrolling through his contacts to ring Luhan and talk. To hear his voice one last time. His number was gone, deleted while he’d been sleeping. A few gentle taps at the door stunned Minseok in to silence, his head feeling cold and sweaty. His wobbly legs just managed to take him to the door, a clammy hand sliding off the handle a few times before finally pressing it down. He opened the door to see Baekhyun stood in his tracksuit bottoms and white t-shirt, Chanyeol was stood in front of him, his face instantly changing from concern to disturbance.

“Minseok?” Chanyeol gasped, letting himself and Baekhyun in and closing the door gently. He placed two hands on Minseok’s shoulders, as Minseok stared off in a direction that wasn’t at him. “Minseok?” He shook him slightly and his eyes snapped upwards, meeting with Chanyeol’s. “Minseok please sit down, you look like you’re going to pass out.” The tall man put an arm around Minseok’s shoulder, his other arm holding his hand and guiding him over to his bed, helping his weak and shaky body sit down. He clasped on to the jacket Luhan had left, and drew it up to his face as he lifted his knees to bend before him. Tears poured from his eyes once more.

“He’s gone.” Minseok muttered through stifled sobs and sniffs. “Just like that… gone.” He reached under his pillow and pulled out the polaroid. The rain had begun to let up a bit, Chanyeol didn’t have to struggle to hear Minseok’s crackled and vague voice. The realisation hit Chanyeol like a tonne of bricks when he peered over to Luhan’s bed and saw it empty, only one suitcase laying on the floor. His jaw dropped slightly as he wrapped his long arms around Minseok’s vulnerable body, feeling the tremors it was giving off. Baekhyun grimaced and lifted two sweaty hands to his face, brushing his cheeks that had flushed. Chanyeol glanced up, they exchanged gentle and knowing nods, before Baekhyun turned and left the room. 

“We loved each other, Yeol. We kissed.” Minseok wept in to Chanyeol’s chest. Chanyeol rested his chin on Minseok’s head and stroked his back. “He made today a good last day, the best day of my life. Then he just deleted his number from my phone and left me.”

“It’s going to be okay, Minseok, we’ll make it okay. We’ll be stronger.”

Chanyeol wasn’t so sure, but any words to reassure his elder would be enough.


End file.
